..DILEMMA,, hmm..

wow,, it's been a while since my last post here,,
hahaha,, i'm sorry bout that,,
i've been busy ruining my life
and apparently someone else's life in the process,,

MY LIFE
i guess i should tell you guys about last term,,
i guess it started there,,
when i didn't show up for my defense,,
the defense that could actually make my life
much better for me to live in,,

so y didn't i show up??

i was so ready for the defense,,
done with all basic requirements,,
done with the models,,
in fact,, i even had time to read my manifesto,,
until i saw a major glitch on one of my models,,
so i got to my feet and started fixing it,,
well,, that's not really the prob,,
so i fixed it ryt in tym,,
i got to my room and i thought maybe i should
start copying my files to a single working USB
so there wouldn't be problems of transfering
when i get to school in the morning,,
i started copying files,, just to my surprise,,
the files i was copying were those files
developed 2wks bfore,,

yes,, all my development since 2wks ago was lost,,
for all three projects,, i started panicking..

then i remembered,,
i sent one finished file to a frnd of mine,,
i hurriedly contacted him to make sure he received it,,
and he did,, but i started crying,,
just starting to realize what i lost that night,,

i ddn't go to school that morning,,
its the day of my scheduled defense,,
i put my phones in plane mode so no one can contact me,,
i cut my self from the world,,
no communication,,
then i cried,, and cried,, and cried,,

evening came and mom and i talked,,
she told me: "maybe it wasn't meant to be yet"
i cried,, but i believed her,,
i started moving on,,
i even went to the defense of the 2nd set of students to present,,
it all went well,,

i told everybody im fine,,
i even mailed our prof and asked for forgivness,,
forgivness bcoz i was weak; i gave up too easily,,
i thought its ok,, i thought id be fine,,
not knowing that decision will haunt me..

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE
i had this frnd whom i know liked me,,
i am very much aware of it,,
infact that frnd of mine reminds me of it all the time,,
sad,, i liked that frnd of mine
but,, not in that level,,

quite recently my frnd asked me
if "WE" have a chance of being "WE",,
i ddnt answer..

much to my dismay,,
that frnd of mine never made communication with me anymore,,
until recently i sent a msg,,
my frnd replied: "whats ur answer to my question"

and i ddnt answer again..
i just dnt knw what to say,,

sad coz i lost a good frnd just because i dnt knw the answer to a simple question..

for you: call me selfish or unfriend me,, just know that u will always be a frnd to me,, sorry..


ME AGAIN
beacause of not coming to the defense last term,,
i had to repeat that subject,,
so i did,,
im taking it again this term,,
only to my surprise,, my class mates aren't as enthusiastic as that of my former class,,
thus making me soooo tired at making plates,,
soooo stubborn and lazy,,
though it still poses challenges,,
it just wont get to me,,
im not saying its coz of the proff,,
my proff now is incomparable to my former one,,
i mean,, they have different teaching style,,
different mentoring style,,
they pose different requirements,,
i can simply say that one cannot be compared to the other,,
they are simply different,,

i got lazy i know,,
but just in presenting,,
i still make up to the requirements,,
last wed 430 was my schedule of defense,,
i went out of the house prepared for it,,
ready for battle,,

but i ddnt make it,,
i got off the bus at 830pm,,
i ddnt go to school anymore since i think its over(the defense),,
instead i went back home,,

reasoning: its beacause of super heavy traffic,,
it is not unusual to have heavy traffic going to school,,
BUT that kind of traffic,, no..

later that day when i got home,,
i heard the news,,
it is due to the crowd going back to the city
after a long weekend and holidays in their provinces,,
that and someone laid to rest along the way(a murdered celebrity)

then i remembered my mom: "maybe it's not meant to be yet"
but this time i ddnt believe,,
i was sooo ready for a defense,,
when will it be 'meant to be'??

arrr..

..THANKS to ALL..

in a few moments,,
my day will end,,
i would like to THANK
everyone who remembered,,
or kahit ung nkita lng s FB..

THANKS sa inyong lahat,,
i feel so loved..

my birthday will pass without any celebration,,
sabi ko nga: "..daladalawa n bday ko,,
wla p ako nacelebrate kht isa.." LOL.
yes,, dalawa sila,, pero that's another blog.

anyway,, my day was spent sleeping,,
yep,, i overslept and it felt really good..
wish i could sleep like this always..
oh well,, cguro every bday ko nlng..
hahahaha..


i started lying bout my age when i turned 20,,
now im 20,, LOL. thanks again,, ciao..

..we share the PASSION for architecture..

i am now on my 2nd yr in ARCHITECTURE (again),,
and i am enjoying it,,
can't ask for more,,

last year,, on of my historu class,,
i reported about Architect Eero Saarinen..
he is an architect of Finnish decent,,
that migrated to America when he is only 13,,

he gained fame on his architecture
simply because it is fresh at his time,,
he also ventured in furniture designing
and a success at that,,
he is the designer of the infamous 'tulip chair'
those chair used in the star trek series in hollywood.

i didn't like him at first,,
his works were heavily critiqued
due to its 'lack' of character,,
and having no identifiable style,,

it is true that his designs doesn't have
this character that will say 'i am designed by saarinen'
but to say that it has no identifiable style is just shallow,,
his works are varied according to the demands of the client,,
and id say that is one architectural style,,
though it doesn't show in its forms,,
having to think of the betterment of your client is
what i call: people-ism..

i liked him now,,
with him,, i also believe that,,
architecture isn't about character of your work,,
it isn't about how pretty your designs are,,
but rather,, architecture is about how GOOD are your designs,,
aesthetics is just second to functionality.

sadly,, Sir Eero is not with us anymore,,
he died of a brain tumor in 1961,,
now, that's something i don't want to have,,

i've always been burdened by my migraines,,
and it isn't a pleasing experience,,
my attacks have always been easy,,
by saying easy i mean,, it can be treated
with just sleeping or meds..

until days ago,,
i started to have migraines
that give me headaches in a superlative degree,,
i can't even sleep,,

my mom told me that migraines are part
of being an architect,,
i am due for observation today
at a hospital in Makati,,
i hope it isn't anything serious,,

or Sir Saarinen and i will be sharing
something else than the passion for architecture.

..my MOM's nth BDAY..

we are going out today,,
because it's my MOM's BDAY,,
off to the fort now..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!
ily much much..

a CONSIDERATE ARCHITECT (personaldna.com)

ARCHITECT

Your imagination, self-reliance, openness to new things, and appreciation for utility combine to make you an ARCHITECT.

You have the confidence to make your visions into reality, and you are willing to consider many alternatives to get that done.

The full spectrum of possibilities in the world intrigues you—you’re not limited by pre-conceived notions of how things should be.

Problem-solving is a specialty of yours, owing to your persistence, curiosity, and understanding of how things work.

Your vision allows you to identify what’s missing from a given situation, and your creativity allows you to fill in the gaps.

Your awareness of how things function gives you the ability to come up with new uses for common objects.

It is more interesting for you to pursue excitement than it is to get caught up in a routine.

Although understanding details is not difficult for you, you specialize in seeing the bigger picture and don’t get caught up in specifics.

You tend to more proactive than reactive—you don’t just wait for things to come to you.

You’re not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.

You’re well-attuned to your emotional state, and not afraid to use your feelings to guide you. You tend to be cooperative, rarely contradicting others, and always considerate of their feelings.

You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people’s notions of style.



CONSIDERATE

You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.

You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.

You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.

You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.

Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you’re somewhat shy and reserved at times.

Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.

Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people’s behavior.

You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people’s lives.

Your close friends know you as a good listener.

..2010 tickets..

..i tidied my bedroom kanina,,
then i saw these in one of my drawers,,
they are the movies a saw last yr (2010),,
hmmm,, oh well..

..suzuki SWIFT please..

..i think i need/ wish for/ long for/ DESERVE/ want a BRAND NEW CAR,, haayyy,, any1 care to give me one?? hmm..

..2011 planner..

..JUST GOT my overrated SB planner for 2011,, looks like im sticking to it since i ddn't have anythng else to use,, argh..

..HELLO 2011..

new year spent with my mom and dad,,
a lot of bonding moments to cherish..

went to tagaytay last 31st,,
tho my mom is sick at the time,,
we ate at yc,, then went str8 to our hotel,,
then slept till before new year,,
and we prayed at exactly 12:00mn..

d following day,,
we went out for an sb bfast,,
quite fun,, hahahhaa..

then we walked our way back to d hotel,,
we readied for check out,,
then we left,,

short might our celebration be,,
but hey,, the imp thing is
that we celebrated it together and whole..

"..THERE and BACK again,, a FAMILY's tale by jheddie gonzales.."