wow,, it's been a while since my last post here,,
hahaha,, i'm sorry bout that,,
i've been busy ruining my life
and apparently someone else's life in the process,,
MY LIFE
i guess i should tell you guys about last term,,
i guess it started there,,
when i didn't show up for my defense,,
the defense that could actually make my life
much better for me to live in,,
so y didn't i show up??
i was so ready for the defense,,
done with all basic requirements,,
done with the models,,
in fact,, i even had time to read my manifesto,,
until i saw a major glitch on one of my models,,
so i got to my feet and started fixing it,,
well,, that's not really the prob,,
so i fixed it ryt in tym,,
i got to my room and i thought maybe i should
start copying my files to a single working USB
so there wouldn't be problems of transfering
when i get to school in the morning,,
i started copying files,, just to my surprise,,
the files i was copying were those files
developed 2wks bfore,,
yes,, all my development since 2wks ago was lost,,
for all three projects,, i started panicking..
then i remembered,,
i sent one finished file to a frnd of mine,,
i hurriedly contacted him to make sure he received it,,
and he did,, but i started crying,,
just starting to realize what i lost that night,,
i ddn't go to school that morning,,
its the day of my scheduled defense,,
i put my phones in plane mode so no one can contact me,,
i cut my self from the world,,
no communication,,
then i cried,, and cried,, and cried,,
evening came and mom and i talked,,
she told me: "maybe it wasn't meant to be yet"
i cried,, but i believed her,,
i started moving on,,
i even went to the defense of the 2nd set of students to present,,
it all went well,,
i told everybody im fine,,
i even mailed our prof and asked for forgivness,,
forgivness bcoz i was weak; i gave up too easily,,
i thought its ok,, i thought id be fine,,
not knowing that decision will haunt me..
SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE
i had this frnd whom i know liked me,,
i am very much aware of it,,
infact that frnd of mine reminds me of it all the time,,
sad,, i liked that frnd of mine
but,, not in that level,,
quite recently my frnd asked me
if "WE" have a chance of being "WE",,
i ddnt answer..
much to my dismay,,
that frnd of mine never made communication with me anymore,,
until recently i sent a msg,,
my frnd replied: "whats ur answer to my question"
and i ddnt answer again..
i just dnt knw what to say,,
sad coz i lost a good frnd just because i dnt knw the answer to a simple question..
for you: call me selfish or unfriend me,, just know that u will always be a frnd to me,, sorry..
ME AGAIN
beacause of not coming to the defense last term,,
i had to repeat that subject,,
so i did,,
im taking it again this term,,
only to my surprise,, my class mates aren't as enthusiastic as that of my former class,,
thus making me soooo tired at making plates,,
soooo stubborn and lazy,,
though it still poses challenges,,
it just wont get to me,,
im not saying its coz of the proff,,
my proff now is incomparable to my former one,,
i mean,, they have different teaching style,,
different mentoring style,,
they pose different requirements,,
i can simply say that one cannot be compared to the other,,
they are simply different,,
i got lazy i know,,
but just in presenting,,
i still make up to the requirements,,
last wed 430 was my schedule of defense,,
i went out of the house prepared for it,,
ready for battle,,
but i ddnt make it,,
i got off the bus at 830pm,,
i ddnt go to school anymore since i think its over(the defense),,
instead i went back home,,
reasoning: its beacause of super heavy traffic,,
it is not unusual to have heavy traffic going to school,,
BUT that kind of traffic,, no..
later that day when i got home,,
i heard the news,,
it is due to the crowd going back to the city
after a long weekend and holidays in their provinces,,
that and someone laid to rest along the way(a murdered celebrity)
then i remembered my mom: "maybe it's not meant to be yet"
but this time i ddnt believe,,
i was sooo ready for a defense,,
when will it be 'meant to be'??
arrr..
