..my STAND on recent events..

type-type-type-backspace-backspace-backspace. for how many days i'v been like that,, typing but erasing all of it again,, back to staring at a blank page. but today, my muses seems to give me a lot of inspiration and courage to write this position blog of mine about recent events in my life. firstly, yes. i am a hurting flesh. and it's not just emotional,, but physical too,, although that physical part should be in another blog. anyway. i'v been cheated on. and it's d frst tym anyone tried to do this to me. i always thought i was too much of a good spirit to be treated as such. i thought my being too good would entitle me to an exemption ticket of some sort. well,, apparently not. in the past week,, i learned that the person i was with (my partner at d time and for 7months)had an affair with somebody else,, and altho it's clear that they don't share any other feeling other than that of lust, we broke up, i ddnt want that. i wanted us to be exclusive. i've known the person was (is) like that even before we were together,, i came to love that,, and explained that i'm never like that,, i am the conservative kind of guy. that person agreed and approved of it. thought i was so lucky. but i was wrong. i cried and cried when d news hit me. we talked that night but all i received was lots of hurting,, less explanations,, less apologies,, lots of hurting. i went home that night crying on a jeepney. having all passenger eyes glued to me. failing to stop crying real bad. even hugged my mom when i got home and cried. she asked me why but i couldn't tell. i am heart broken. what really hurts me is,, that i know the cheating happened back when we were good.. as in we were ok,, the relationship is functioning real well,, at least that's what i thought.. apparently not though.. days passed and just like a sour fruit that nears rot,, i got bitter,, i dnt wanna believe any1 who's good looking. the thing is,, i might be bitter about the situation,, but i am NOT angry,, NOT mad.. just now,, news came that he's not cheating with just one person but bunch of them,, great. still not mad tho. don't know what can make me. whenever i tell stories about what's happening.. people get mad and angry.. to my defense i always say to give the person some credit.. the person was really liberated.. and for how many months the person really tried.. and that wasn't easy.. i know the person is for real. all the feelings are mutual,, its just that the person cant resist chance on getting 'IT'.. but it doesn't make the person a monster,, because that's what the person is made of. one thing i know for xur. im in love. can't backspace that so easily. in fact i dnt want to. il stay in love. the last time i was in this state.. the person died. im not hoping for that kind of ending now tho. im hoping for a happy one. one ending that we're together and exclusive.